To Put Down the Flames
by Trinity23Rose
Summary: The Capitol wants to put her flames down, but they don't know that while together, Katniss and Haymitch burn even stronger/ K&H fell in love after the first Games and now they are sent back to the arena. Together
1. Chapter 1

**Description: **The Capitol wants to put her flames down, but they don't know that while together, Katniss and Haymitch burn even stronger/ K&H fell in love after the first Games and now they're sent back to the arena. Together.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 1<strong>

"_She needs to be eliminated."_

"_I agree, but in the right time and place."_

* * *

><p>That was the end and Katniss knew it. She just wished it hadn't hurt so badly.<p>

She'd managed to do one thing right: she'd managed to protect her sister, Prim, but she'd also managed to do something stupid and selfish. She'd once sworn to herself that she would never marry, never fall in love, because she wouldn't watch her own children being reaped into the arena. She'd broken that promise, but she couldn't control herself.

It was true what they said. Love came unexpected, it surprised you, opened up your heart to something completely new and wonderful. Love also came to stay. Repressing it or denying wasn't possible because eventually, feelings would win out and one would cave.

Katniss didn't regret anything. She didn't regret falling in love. It wasn't a prefabricated affection. She didn't have to show it off to the cameras. It was just hers. Private and strong.

Only once they'd caved, once they'd spoken what they'd really felt, once they'd gotten together, they'd never anticipated _this_.

Katniss had thought she would need to pretend every year to be in love with Peeta. That she would need to mentor the Games with him and play the infatuated girl. Maybe they would eventually have to marry, but it would still be just for the show. There was a man in her life. A man she loved and would always love dearly, but it wasn't Peeta.

It was Haymitch.

Haymitch who now stood on the opposite side of the scene, waiting to be reaped for the 75th Hunger Games, the third Quarter Quell.

There was a 50/50 chance that he would be the tribute and right next to him was Peeta.

Why did Snow do this to them? Katniss kept asking herself, but she knew the answer. Snow wanted her dead. He wanted to show the whole Panem that no one could ever overcome his power. He could do anything and get away with it. He could kill all the victors. No one was save. Not anymore. And it was all because of her.

Now Snow did something that hurt Katniss in the exact same way as before. Back then it was her sister and now it was the man she loved. She'd stopped it the first time, volunteering for Prim, but right now there was nothing she could do to save Haymitch. _Nothing. _And it destroyed her. Killed her inside. Left her dead.

She was the only female victor, so her fate was already decided. Now came a time to pick a male tribute. Would it be Haymitch? Would it be Peeta? Katniss hated both those choices. She loved Haymitch dearly and it was killing her to see him on this stage. It must've been even more painful for him because no matter what, she was going to the arena again. Like it hadn't nearly killed her the first time around. She'd been a ghost when she'd come back and he was the one to put the life back into her. Now she was to lose it all once again.

Reaping Peeta would hurt her as well. She felt sorry for him. He obviously loved her or at least had strong feelings towards her and he'd been so hurt when they'd come back from the arena and she hadn't reciprocated them. All that had happened back there in the woods, it'd all been for show.

She wished children of Panem wouldn't have to die like that. She wished she could spare her sister pain because obviously, she wouldn't be coming back alive the second time. Even if she succeeded, Snow would make sure she died. She also wished she could save Peeta. She wished she could see him falling in love with someone who deserved it and not having to worry about the Games. She wished she could save Haymitch. He was broken already and if now…

"…Haymitch Abernathy," she suddenly heard Effie's voice and shuddered.

Haymitch was just reaped for the arena. He was coming back there with her.

It took a lot for her not to burst into tears right there and then in front of all those people, not to just run to him and throw herself into his loving arms.

She just managed to look at him, a stray tear streaming down her cheek. His blue eyes looked back into her gray ones and he didn't have to say anything. She knew what he felt. And it broke her heart.

They'd thought that they would be able to have some future. They were so great together. None of them had nightmares while the other was around. None of them felt lonely and in pain when the other was by their side. Now it would all change. Now they would have to watch each other die. Who would go first? Katniss was scared of the answer. She preferred not to think about it.

In the last moment she caught a look in Peeta's eyes and she froze. If she knew Peeta, he would volunteer for Haymitch. Not that she expected that or asked him, but that would be the Peeta she thought she knew. Why didn't he do something then? Why didn't he react? Why was he just standing there?

Katniss wanted to say goodbye to her sister. Haymitch and Peeta would be on the train, but Prim would have to stay there, in Twelve.

They didn't let her. They took her straight to the train. _New Rules_, they said.

Haymitch walked in there first and then Katniss fastened up, already shaken because Snow denied her the one thing she needed the most right now - her sister's hug.

"Katniss, wait," she heard Peeta's voice as he grabbed her arm and turn her around, so she would look at him.

Haymitch was gone. Where the hell did he go? She wondered. She hoped that he wouldn't get drunk. He'd stopped drinking when she'd been in the arena. He'd wanted to be sober to be able to help her. Then she was the one to ask him to stop. If they were to be together, he couldn't be an alcoholic. He was hanging on there as she'd turned out to be a bigger drug for him than the liquor ever was. But now… now she wouldn't be surprised if…

"Katniss, we need to talk," Peeta said urgently and pulled her into the dining compartment. "Please, sit."

She did so because she thought he wouldn't stop bothering her until she listened to what he had to say.

"Go on then," she encouraged him, "talk."

"I know the right thing to do would be to volunteer for Haymitch," he started as he took the chair right next to her, "but Katniss, I just couldn't do it."

"I didn't expect you to…" she started, but he stopped her immediately.

"I feel like a terrible man because I didn't volunteer, but at the end of the day… Katniss, I want you," he told her and she suddenly lost the ability to speak. Why the hell was he talking about? "Let's face it, Haymitch is old and broken," Peeta continued, not even knowing how much he was agitating her now, "and he has no life ahead of him anyway. I can save you this way, Katniss. I can try and get you out of there alive and then…"

"Then what?!" she finally found her tongue and asked in a sharp and unpleasant tone. "We will live happily ever after?! Peeta, what the hell are you…"

"I know you don't love me now," he interrupted her, "and I don't expect you to. Maybe someday you will be able to learn how to, but… I can't let you die, Katniss. I just can't. I love you too damn much."

"You fucking idiot!" Katniss suddenly screamed and stood up, shocking Peeta completely.

"What?" His eyes were widely opened like he didn't believe she just called him that.

"I will _never _be able to love you, Peeta!" she screamed, not even caring that someone might hear them. "And it's because I already love someone! I will never be able to feel the same way towards anyone else again! Guess what you've just done! You sent the man _I love _to the arena with _me_!"

They just stood there, looking at each other. Peeta was in shock and he didn't know what to do or say or how to process what he just heard from Katniss.

"He is not old and broken. I mended him and he mended me. We helped each other," Katniss went on, this time in a normal tone. "And I am truly sorry I need to break your heart like this, but you need to move on, Peeta. You have a chance to live when we… we will never…" she stooped, fresh tears flowing again. She covered her mouth with her hand and ran away from her new mentor.

Peeta just fell into the chair.

* * *

><p><em>Few Months Ago<em>

"How can I keep doing this?" Katniss asked when making tea in Haymitch's house.

They just came back from the Victory Tour and she was sick of the Capitol. Haymitch was the only person who truly understood her. They'd gotten closer once she'd come back from the arena. She'd known in an instance that he was the one person who could listen to her and really understand what she'd been through. Peeta wouldn't. Peeta had never killed anyone like she had. Peeta had managed to keep his innocence. He hadn't even had any nightmares.

Freshly after coming back home, Katniss had heard Haymitch screaming during the night. She'd gotten to his house and woken him up, barely avoiding being sliced by the knife he'd been holding. He'd explained to her that without alcohol he couldn't sleep, he had nightmares, nightmares about the arena, about tributes trying to kill him, about them dying all around and about himself being killed. It'd taken a few months for him to actually confess to the worst one. The one in which his abdomen was sliced and he nearly bled to death, winning only thanks to blind luck.

They'd started talking and spending more time together. Katniss could no longer hunt since the electrical fence had been on now and she couldn't spend her free time with Gale anymore either as he'd been working hard in the mine.

Friendship with Haymitch had quickly turned into something more. One night she'd stayed with him, not romantically, but as a friend. She'd stayed because of the nightmares. It'd been the best night she'd had since her comeback. No nightmares. Just Haymitch's warm arms around her, soothing her. It'd been awkward between them since that time, but they'd managed to grow back into friendship again. Only recently Katniss had started thinking it was something much more than that.

"You just do," Haymitch answered her question from his position in the chair by the table. He was juts slicing the bread for sandwiches.

"I can't keep coming back there every year, Haymitch," Katniss confessed while pouring the hot water into two cups. "I just can't. The way they live… And to think that I'll have to mentor a tribute… and do that with Peeta…" she just sighed.

She put the steaming cup in front of him and he put a freshly made sandwich on her plate.

"You have no choice, it's the only way you can stay alive," he told her and covered her hand with his. "You can do this, Katniss."

She looked at him and their eyes met.

"Will you retire or will you go with us?" she just asked.

"I can't imagine what I could possibly be doing with you two," he answered, taking his hand away. "There are usually two mentors and Effie was there before only to fill the gap, but now… you and Peeta will be the ones to go to the Capitol with your tributes."

"I won't stand that either. I don't have any feelings towards him and I can't just break up with in. Snow was already threatening me about that one."

"I know it's hard," Haymitch assured her, "but you need to do this. Do it for your sister. She can't lose you."

"I know. Thank you." This time Katniss was the one to touch him.

They'd kept doing that for some time now. None of them going any further, but it was in their eyes. They'd been so often just losing themselves in each other's gaze.

This time the tension was too much.

In the same time Haymitch and Katniss got closer and their lips touch.

She was surprised with the jolt of electricity she felt. She'd never reacted that to Peeta kissing her. This was real on the contrary to what she had to play in front of the cameras.

Haymitch cupped her face, his fingers brushing her hair, his tongue sliding along her lower lip. She moaned into his mouth and also touched his face, feeling his stubble there.

Then he stopped the kiss, but didn't pull away. His forehead rested against hers, their breaths mixing together.

"We can't do this," he finally spoke, looking into her eyes from so close that he seemed to be drowning in them.

"Why not?" she asked. "How long are we going to hide it, Haymitch? We obviously have feelings for each other."

He closed his eyes and then pulled away. He didn't want to, but he felt like he had to.

He stood up and turned his back to her, looking out the window at his geese.

"Haymitch." Katniss wasn't giving up and she walked over to him and put her arms around his middle, hugging him from behind. She could feel his breathing quickening.

"Katniss, I'm too old for you."

"I don't think you are," she answered immediately. "After the arena I feel like I'm hundred years old. We're the same, Haymitch, can't you see that?"

"Still, there are too many complications. Peeta and the Capitol and Snow… You'll have to go out there every year and pretend to be with him."

"If that hurts you, I can stage a fight and a break up."

"No," he said and finally turned around again to face her. She pulled away a little, but remained close. "It doesn't hurt me because it's not real and in fact, it keeps your sister and you alive. I just don't think we can risk that much. How will your mother and sister react when they find out about us?"

"Stop worrying about them," Katniss said and cupped his face. "Haymitch, can you imagine us living next to each other and keep those feelings inside? We've been through so much. We can't deny ourselves a little bit of happiness."

She kissed him again when rising on her tiptoes.

For a moment they lost themselves in the growing passion, but then Haymitch put his hands on her shoulders and gently but decidedly pushed her away.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," he said and walked out of the house.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 24**

Katniss knocked to a compartment that last year had belonged to Haymitch. She hoped she could find him in there, but she didn't want to bump into Effie, so she didn't just burst inside.

The door opened and Haymitch appeared right in front of her. He shot her a quick glance and sighed, "Oh, sweetheart, are you all right?" He reached for her and pulled her into his arms, then kicked the door, so it would close after them.

Katniss clang to him like she was holding for dear life.

"Last year I thought it couldn't get worse and then I thought that the Capitol would force me to have kids just so they could send them into the arena. I took care of that when I got that birth control pills on the black market, but now… Haymitch, it does get worse. Every time I think it can get better, it actually gets worse."

He didn't know what to say, so he just kept on holding her and stroking her back, hoping that he would soothe her.

"I don't want to lose you," she wept into his shirt.

She was falling apart and he knew that. Ever since she'd come back from the first Games she was changed, different. It'd only gotten worse since the day they'd found out about the Quarter Quell.

"You're not drunk," she realized after a few quiet minutes interrupted by her occasional weeping.

"Why would I be? I quitted," he said as he finally pulled away from her.

"I just-I just thought that you might start once we got on this train." Katniss shrugged, trying to sound casual.

"Sweetheart," Haymitch said and cupped her face, forcing her to look him in the eye, "if we die and… I think at least one of us will, I wouldn't want to be drunk during those last few days. I want to remember every single moment spent with you."

"I love you so much."

"And I love you."

She shook her head and walked towards the small window.

"But there will be no happy ending here," she said quietly. "Peeta knows," she added after a few more quiet minutes.

"I know," Haymitch answered to her surprise.

"You do?" Katniss turned to face him again.

"I think the whole train knows," he added. "You were pretty loud in there."

"Damn it," Katniss cursed. "I didn't mean to. He just… What he said…"

"He was right."

"No, he wasn't!" Katniss contradicted Haymitch quickly. "And don't you dare say that we shouldn't be together! I thought we were past that!"

"We are, but… what will they all think, Katniss?" Haymitch asked the perfect question. "If they see us together… we need to be friends in front of cameras, nothing more. You can't show any affection towards me in the arena either."

"What? No! I won't be able to!"

"You have to!" he finally raised his voice and that caused her to be silent. "You can't love me. They will let you live because they want the star-crossed lovers back together. This is the only way to get you out of that arena alive."

"Get me…" she repeated and stopped, shaking her head frantically. "No! I'm going there with you and I'm going to die there with you, too! I am not going back home!"

"You need to. Just think of your family, of Prim," Haymitch said in a calm voice. He came over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "You can't be selfish. I know what you feel, believe me, I feel the same way, but you _need _to go back home."

"To do what?" she asked, tears still in her eyes, but she stopped crying for now. "To pretend to be happy that I won? To pretend to be in love with Peeta when in my heart I will be grieving? Maybe to marry him? No, Haymitch, I'm a lousy actress and you know it! And if I fail in acting, they'll kill them! They'll kill my family! If I die in the arena, then at least Prim will be safe. The Capitol loves her, so they won't kill her. I'm also pretty damn sure she can handle my death. She's grown so much and I see how strong she is."

Haymitch closed his eyes, but decided to stop arguing for now. He would just have to keep Katniss alive in the arena long enough. And Peeta would help him.

"Do you want to stay here?" he then asked. "You as well might. Everyone heard you anyway."

She still seemed to be hurt. Hurt by him and he felt like a jerk for telling her all of that. Did he really have a choice though? He wanted to protect her and her life for all cost.

She just nodded.

They got into bed and she clang to him under the sheets. Then she said, "Haymitch, I know what you're trying to do, what you're still trying to do even when you're not my mentor anymore. I understand it, I really do. I just want you to answer this question: do you really think there will be a life for me afterwards? If I win the second time in a row, do you really think I can survive? Look at yourself. You were there just once and you won because you were lucky. Before I appeared in the picture your life was miserable."

"Yes, it was," he sighed, understanding her perfectly. "Yes, it was, but I didn't have any family. My family was murdered. You still have yours."

They were both too tired to argue or talk. They also didn't want to spend those last few days fighting. They needed to use that time to be together.

Katniss found Haymitch's lips and they kissed like there was no tomorrow. In fact, they had only a few of those.

Haymitch hands cupped her face and brought her closer, his lips on hers, demanding, his tongue sliding inside and battling with her own. Soon enough, they were fumbling with their clothes, wanting to get them out of the way as fast as possible.

When they were finally naked, Haymitch found himself hovering over Katniss, ravishing her body with his lips and hands, working her up into arousal and when she was writhing beneath him, so beautiful, a goddess, he finally entered her, joining his body with hers.

He still couldn't believe she'd chosen him. He couldn't believe he was the one she'd fallen for. Maybe after so many lonely and miserable years, fate finally brought him something worth living for. Only all of it would be taken away from him too soon.

Their kisses and movements grew desperate, more urgent. Katniss was riding Haymitch from beneath him, desperate for more and more. Their hearts were breaking on the very thought that they needed to say goodbye eventually, but for now, they were one.

They were just husband and wife consummating their love.

Even if no one knew about that one.

* * *

><p><em>Few Months Earlier<em>

Haymitch had been avoiding her for a week now and she hated that. She hated that he couldn't just act on his feelings. She figured he wouldn't care if she was young, that after everything he'd been through he should believe he deserved some happiness, but no… He had to be so damn stubborn!

Katniss was so angry those days that even her usually absentminded mother asked her if something was wrong. Of course, she got in answer that everything was fine and that her daughter was just worried about the upcoming Reaping.

Then, on the eighth day, Katniss walked into her room in the evening and he was there.

"Haymitch," she said his name in surprise, but also with happiness. "What are you doing here?"

"Actually, I'm not sure," he answered. "I shouldn't even be here, but something… I needed to come."

"I'm glad you did," Katniss told him and walked over to him. "Do you have something to tell me?" she prompted, standing right in front of him.

They were so close he could see the depths of her grey eyes, the flushed cheeks and the little vein on her neck that was pulsing, indicating that her breathing quickened.

His quickened, too. She was too close, yet too far away.

He could change that. This time he acted on his feelings and he didn't listen to his brain.

He grabbed her, kissing her hard and in the moment their lips touched and she reciprocated the kiss, he was lost. He knew it was too late to take it back or to be friends again. They crossed the line. There was no coming back from there.

Katniss lost herself in this kiss completely, too. She forgot about worrying. She forgot about the warning she'd gotten from Snow or the way he'd shaken his head when she'd wanted to know if she'd succeeded in persuading the people of Panem that she was really in love with Peeta.

Of course she'd failed. She'd failed in being the distraction. How could she not? She was a lousy actress. She'd always been. She was like an open book. People knew her secrets before even she knew them herself.

"Wait…" Haymitch finally pulled away, breathing heavily just as she was. "I shouldn't do this," he said, still trying to fight his feelings again.

"Yes, you should," Katniss just said and shut him up by kissing him again.

"I missed you," he whispered after a few more seconds. He closed his eyes. He gave up. There was no use fighting feelings when one saw the object of his affection every single day and was destined to see her indefinitely as they were both connected to the Games.

"I missed you, too, and I'm happy you came to your senses."

"Common sense has nothing to do with it," he said with a chuckle. "I just can't seem to live without you. How did it happen? When did it happen?"

"For me it happened over time," she admitted, making a step back, so she could see him more clearly. "When I won the Games with Peeta, I needed someone to understand me, to understand what I'd been through and I found… you."

"A broken, old drunk?" he asked.

"I'm broken, too, and you're not a drunk anymore, are you?"

"Are you sure about this? I mean, about this… relationship… that we seem to have?" he asked one more time, not even knowing how to define what they had.

"Oh yes, I am. And you are, too. Why would you come to me otherwise?"

"I can't stay, Katniss. No when your family's asleep next door."

"Yeah," Katniss agreed. "Haymitch, I am not ashamed of you, you have to believe me. I just can't risk them finding out about us now. It's too dangerous."

"I know. Especially when you're supposed to be getting ready for your wedding with Peeta," he noticed in a bitter tone.

"Don't even remind me about that one." Katniss bit her lower lip. "What am I supposed to do, Haymitch?"

"Do what's best for your family's safety and don't you worry about me. I know the truth. You don't love him."

"He knows it, too, and sometimes I feel horrible for getting him into that mess."

"He should be grateful because that mess saved his life," Haymitch said in a harsh tone.

"I'll do the best I can to keep us all alive," Katniss assured him.

"I know and I don't expect anything else from you. A few moments with you is all I need."

"You'll get more than that." She cupped his face and kissed him again. "I can come with you to your house. That way no one can see us together."

"I do sleep better when you're around," he admitted.

"I was hoping you'd say that." She smiled to him. "With you I don't have nightmares."

"Then we have something in common, sweetheart… just know that there will never be planning any future with us, there will only be here and now."

"That's better than nothing."


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

Katniss woke up alone.

She reached her hand behind her, but all she felt was an empty sheet.

"Haymitch?" she asked, still a little groggy from sleeping. She tried to remember where she was and then she realized it was on the train and that she'd gone straight to Haymitch's compartment last night.

And Haymitch mysteriously disappeared.

Katniss frowned, already having a bad morning and then it only got worse when she needed to go to her actual compartment to get a fresh change of clothes. She took a quick shower and was finally ready for breakfast.

Only when she approached the dining compartment, she lost her appetite. The day before Peeta had found about her and Haymitch and now she could hear voices and clattering of cutlery.

"We can still save her, Peeta," Haymitch was saying, "you just can't say anything. They can't know about me and Katniss. You will get her out. I want you to focus on her and leave me alone."

"No!" Katniss walked into the room, raising her voice. "What the hell are you doing, Haymitch?! I told you I don't want any of this!"

"And I told you I will protect you for all cost," Haymitch was adamant in his decision.

"Then we'll have to agree to disagree," Katniss sighed and grabbed a roll with not much of enthusiasm even though she could feel her stomach rumbling.

"Is it so bad of me to want you alive?" Haymitch asked, not letting it go.

"No, but I already made peace with my fate," Katniss answered. "I'm not going to survive and you two as well might deal with it."

"It doesn't matter," Peeta said. "Once you're out in the open, you'll start acting like friends, not lovers."

Those words coming from him surprised Katniss, but she was tired of fighting. She knew that once they would find themselves in the arena, every plan would be shattered. What chance did she really have against twenty two experienced victors? None. Exactly.

* * *

><p>Once they arrived at the Capitol, they were immediately taken to the special tributes' quarters. There was no strolling around the city and the security was even more strict than Katniss remembered. It was all her fault and she knew it. She was the one to spark the rebellion that was happening right now. Such a shame that those poor people would never be free. Instead, they would be killed off until they would be no one to fight back left.<p>

Peeta wanted his tributes in the TV room immediately. He asked Haymitch to present the victors that would be sent to the arena because Haymitch knew them all well.

When barely looking at the first one Katniss knew her chances were very small and even if, she didn't pay much attention. In what that knowledge could help her exactly? She didn't care that Finnick Ordair was a master of nets, Joanna Mason was great with hammers and axes, some Beetee was good with electricity and some other woman whose name she forgot, had filed her teeth into fangs so she could rip open throats… Katniss didn't care. She fought that maybe she was depressed. Maybe she lost the will to fight that she had had last year. This time she wouldn't be coming home. Even if she tried hard, what were the chances that she would succeed twice in a row? Those odds would never be in her favor.

"Ok, I think that's enough. Thank you, Haymitch," Peeta said. "You two have fittings right now and then there's the official presentation of tributes. Your stylists are already waiting for you."

Katniss noticed a change in Peeta. It was true that their relations had gradually cooled since they'd come back from the first Games, but he'd always been nice to her. He'd cared about her even if he'd been hurt by her. Now he seemed to be a complete stranger to her. She knew he still had feelings for her and that he would still try his best to get her out of the arena, but something between them broke once and for all and it would never be repaired. Katniss could feel it. It was like Peeta felt betrayed by her, like she finally did something to lose him forever. He'd thought they might have a chance in the future, but by telling him the truth about her relationship, Katniss took it away from him.

* * *

><p><em>Few weeks earlier<em>

"Katniss, I'm afraid we need to stop," Haymitch said, breathing hard as Katniss was straddling him and kissing him. "Soon I won't be able to stop and I know… I know… God… stop!" She was trailing a path of kisses along his neck and her hand under his shirt was sliding dangerously low to his erection that was getting really nudging. He grabbed her and pulled away forcefully. She landed on the soft bed and he jumped to his feet, taking appropriate distance between them. "I don't know if that was supposed to be the surprise you had for me, but… Katniss, I know you, you don't want to have kids because they will be sent into the arena, especially when Snow hates you so much. You know that one time is enough to conceive."

"I'm not stupid, Haymitch," she said, angry with him that he dared think like that. "The surprise was… ok, that part, too, but… I got birth control shots on the Capitol's black market. I have money and I can't do anything with it. I can't give it to the people in the Hob because Snow would make me pay for it. So I bought birth control."

Haymitch, to her astonishment, started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, sweetheart, absolutely nothing. I just love you so much and it looks like either you love me back or you're really desperate for some action."

"Well, you'll have to figure that one out," Katniss teased him. "Now, get back to bed. You stopped in a really exciting moment."

"Oh, yes, I did," he agreed and jumped to bed with her, pulling her towards him and hovering above her. He captured her lips hungrily.

"Wow… now… this is… you haven't kissed me like this before…" Katniss moaned under him.

"Because I thought we couldn't get any further," he explained and kissed her again, his hands exploring her body and taking off her clothes.

Haymitch was doing his best to be careful, even if everything inside him was screaming at him to just take Katniss right now, he didn't do it. He knew it would be her first time and he wanted it to be special for her. He didn't care about his needs right now and he so didn't try to figure out how long it'd been for him since he'd had sex.

He was rewarded by Katniss coming hard and powerfully. He knew it didn't always happen for a woman the first time, so he could congratulate himself.

Then he just fell into bed, exhausted.

"You look like you've run a marathon," Katniss teased him again when she lay her head on his chest and listen to his heart racing.

"But it paid off, didn't it?" Haymitch asked her. "I tried very hard to be good for you and I think I deserve an answer now."

"What answer?" Katniss asked, looking up into his eyes.

"Love or lust?" he just asked.

She smiled.

"Let me think… no, it's love, yeah, definitely."

They both laughed.

"So, when can we go again?" she asked after a few minutes of silence.

* * *

><p>She knew she'd changed a little. Maybe being with Haymitch had changed her. She laughed more often now and she wasn't worrying so much about everything. Her family seemed to be happy about that even though they had no idea what was the reason. Katniss could only imagine what would her mother think or do if she knew.<p>

Even if, Katniss and Haymitch needed to keep it a secret in fear of the Capitol and Snow.

There were still dark clouds on the horizon, Katniss knew it, but she somehow decided to stop worrying and live a little. She didn't know when her end would come. It could happen sooner more than later, so she intended to enjoy every blissful second spent with the man she loved.

And she was right. The end of their bliss was coming and it was happening faster than they could anticipate.

* * *

><p>After a month or so, Prim found out about her sister's relationship. One day she went to Haymitch to look for Katniss and she found them kissing in the kitchen while they were cooking dinner.<p>

"Prim!" Katniss felt somebody's presence in the room and opened her eyes, then jumped away from Haymitch. "Prim, oh God… I... we just…"

Her sister was just calmly standing in the door.

"Prim, I'm sorry you had to see that," Katniss went on. "I really am. Can we talk? Please, I need to talk to you before you run off to tell mom!"

Haymitch could just stand there motionless and horrified because their lives might change forever now. What if Prim told someone? What if the Capitol found out? Then they would all be dead.

Katniss took her sister's hand and led her outside.

"Prim, I-I have no explanation for what you've seen," she started, "but please, please, do not tell anyone. Our lives depend on it. Do you know what would happen to us if someone knew? If someone from the Capitol knew?"

"Katniss, I'm not a little girl anymore, you know," Prim finally spoke to Katniss's astonishment.

"I do. You've grown up a lot since last year."

In fact, Prim was more like a young woman now even if her age didn't indicate it. That was even more scary for Katniss. The Games and what was happening in the world affected her little sister so much that she'd been forced to grow up faster.

"I understand what's at stake here and you can have my word. I won't tell anyone. In fact, I've been suspecting something for a while now."

"What?!" Katniss froze. "Why? Has anyone else?"

"Just me, so you can calm down, Katniss," her sister assured her. "I saw the change in you and unlike mom, I looked for the source. I figured it had to be love, but you and Peeta didn't speak to each other very often, so that one didn't make any sense."

"Well, yeah, it didn't."

"You haven't been seeing Gabe often, so that was out, too. Then I noticed how much time you've been spending in Haymitch's house and I figured that it did make sense."

"Really?" Katniss didn't think that day could get any weirder. Her little sister just kept surprising her.

"You were both through hell and Peeta… it didn't affect him so much because you saved him."

"That's true… Prim, this conversation is too surreal for me," Katniss confessed, looking her sister in the eye. "Are you sure you're all right with this?"

"Katniss, in this world any kind of love is beautiful. I see how you've changed. You're happier now and you don't seem to be worrying about everything all the time."

"So you're not disgusted? You don't feel like I let you down?"

"You could never let me down," Prim told her honestly.

"You know I love you, Prim, don't you?" Katniss asked and hugged her sister.

"I love you, too."

If Katniss could trust anyone, it was Prim.

"And you deserve it, Katniss after what you've done for me. I know I can never repay you for saving my life, but at least I can keep your secret."

Katniss felt tears in her eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4**

Time was running too fast. She wasn't ready. She just wasn't ready to go through it again.

Now only a week separated her from the Games. She wish she could spend it with Haymitch alone, but she didn't have that luxury. She needed to show up in training, at her assessment, at the interviews…

Sometimes she really hated her life. It'd only been heading downhill since the death of her father and right now even love couldn't soothe her pain. She would lose that love soon.

At least Cinna made her a great outfit. She had no idea yet what it could do because she was supposed to wait for the right moment to push the right button, but she was already satisfied. She was covered and not naked like Finnick Ordair or dressed up like a tree, which happened to Joanna Mason. She had a regular black outfit on, just like Haymitch.

When Katniss looked at him right before the presentation, she suddenly felt bad. Here she was, thinking how a terrible fate had she met to be sent to the arena once again a year after the first time, but now… now she suddenly started wondering if it wasn't worse for Haymitch. He'd won twenty five years ago and since that time he'd been watching his tributes dying horrible deaths on the arenas and he couldn't help them. Now he was forced to be one again and Katniss realized it must've been much worse for him because he'd been witnessing those Games and the deaths for so long. He knew that skills were only a small percent of what mattered out there and that was simply luck. And they'd both been lucky once, so the probability that it could repeat was close to zero.

Katniss knew that Haymitch would always put his personal feelings and fears aside just to be a support for her and she loved him for that, but she also needed to figured out a way to be there for him, too. She couldn't watch him so broken.

"We need to go," he said, waking her up from her reverie. "Katniss, are you all right?" he asked with care in his voice. He really wanted to touch her right now. In fact, everything inside of him was aching for him to, but he couldn't. They could only hold hands once they found themselves on the carriage being dragged by the horses to their presentation.

"Yeah, are you?" she asked.

He didn't answer, instead he helped her up and then took the place right beside her.

She remembered the year before when she'd been making this small trip with Peeta. She'd been so sure back then that he'd been thinking about killing her. She was ashamed of that now. Peeta had turned out to be a wonderful and caring man, just not the kind for her. She never deserved him and she knew it. She also couldn't love him.

Haymitch's hand found hers and their fingers entwined. Finally, they both felt a little bit stronger when together. They drove towards the audience, raising their hands up into the air, showing their union. Until death would do them part, Katniss thought and needed to swallow tears. It was a good thing that they didn't have to smile and wave to the people this time. Cinna had told them to have more combatant attitude.

"And here she is! The girl on fire!" Katniss heard the voice of Caesar Flickerman. "My favorite! And right next to her, the victor of… pay attention! The second Quarter Quell, Haymitch Abernathy! It's valid to know that he is the only victor tribute from a quarter quell! Now when the roles have turned, Peeta Mellark got promoted to be a mentor! I'm so excited to see what he'll do about the fact that his fiancée is being sent back to the arena! Will he be biased and try to save her for all cost? Will we see the star-crossed lovers' reunion? Well, we will have to wait!..."

Caesar, even though Katniss usually liked him, now almost brought her to tears. She found Snow and looked him in the eye as the carriage was getting closer to the presidential lodge.

She pushed the button and she and Haymitch were both engulfed by flames that didn't hurt them, but looked real. They were now both on fire, shining lighter than anyone else.

"Oh! There it is! Did you see that?!" Flickerman asked the audience. "Amazing!"

* * *

><p>Once they were back inside, Katniss almost tripped when trying to get off the carriage.<p>

"Katniss, hey…" Haymitch followed her, trying to catch her, but she was back on her feet on her own. "Katniss!" he called after her.

"Don't!" she just yelled. "Just… don't…" She had difficulties with calming down. She couldn't be emotional in front of all the tributes and soon, they would see her.

She stilled, closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"Come here," Haymitch said in a soft voice, reaching his arms to her.

"No," she refused and made a step forward to escape his grip. "We can't. There are cameras everywhere. Besides, once you touch me, I'm gonna lose it."

"Hey… what took you so long?" Peeta finally appeared. "Come, you need to meet a few people and… oh, Haymitch, some of them are asking for you. Old friends of yours?"

"Yes, they must be," Haymitch agreed and gently pushed Katniss forward.

She did her best to just be quiet and to not show any emotions and then she finally could go inside the elevator.

Just when the door were closing, a hand was pushed inside and it opened again.

Johanna Mason was standing right in front of them.

"Hi!" she greeted them and turned around. "Could you get this?" she asked Peeta, clearly meaning the zip of her dress.

"Oh… sure." Peeta did her the favor and then… Johanna just stripped, standing naked before them.

Katniss was still in shock when the elevator door slid open and Mason disappeared.

"We need to do this again sometime!" she called to them.

Then Katniss was finally able to move and the first thing she did was to look at Haymitch.

He was laughing!

She poked him with her elbow.

"What?!" he asked her.

She just rolled her eyes and stepped out of the elevator on the twelfth floor, going right to her bedroom.

"Ok, I so don't want to be in your skin right now," Peeta chuckled and disappeared.

"Katniss!" Haymitch ran after her. "Katniss!" He opened her bedroom door. "You know it didn't mean anything! For a god's sake, what was I supposed to do? Stop her?"

"Well, yeah, maybe you should've!" she yelled at him.

"I was just as shocked as you were."

"Of course, but you can't deny liking what you saw!"

"Can't you see how irrationally you sound?" Haymitch sighed heavily and walked over to Katniss. "Hey, sweetheart, you're the only one. You're the one I want to spend my life with and I've already proven that to you. We're together till the end."

"That's just the thing, Haymitch," Katniss's voice finally softened as she turned to him and looked him in the eye. "Together till the end with the slight difference that we thought the end would come much later."

"This is just life, sweetheart," he said. "And we can't really do anything about it."

She finally let him take her into his arms and she started sobbing.

* * *

><p><em>Few weeks earlier<em>

She still couldn't believe it. She just couldn't!

Snow just announced the third Quarter Quell and… she was going back into the arena. She had no doubts, even for a moment, that he'd done that intentionally. It was bullshit that the stupid letter had been written seventy five years ago! They'd made it up just to get rid of her! She'd thought they might kill her eventually, but not even in her wildest dreams had she thought it would be by sending her back to the Games!

No one was safe. _No one. _And that was all Snow wanted to prove.

Katniss had no idea how long she'd been in the woods, but she was starting to freeze. It was winter, after all.

When she finally got to her feet, a terrible thought came to her mind.

_Oh God! Haymitch!_ She realized in panic.

What was he going through right now?! The person he loved would be sent to death in a couple of weeks! And he might go with her, too. There was a fifty/fifty chance of that happening!

She ran to his house as fast as she could.

She pushed the door open and felt the warm coming from the fireplace. She didn't realize how cold she was until she walked inside.

She went to the living room and he was there, sitting by the fireplace with a bottle of alcohol in his hand.

She'd been feeling sorry for him a moment before, but now she was just furious.

She grabbed the bottle.

"What were you thinking?!" she snapped at him.

"Relax, I haven't had a sip," he said in a strangely detached voice and he kept staring at the fire. "I wanted to, but… then I thought of you and I-I just couldn't."

Katniss drunk instead.

"Stop it before you knock yourself out, sweetheart. It's too strong," Haymitch warned her when finally looking at her.

Maybe she should've listened because when she finally stopped, wanting to catch a breath, she felt such a terrible burning in her throat that tears appeared in her eyes and she started coughing and sucking the air into her lungs frantically in the same time.

"Told you so," Haymitch just added, still in that weird voice.

"I guess we should really get rid of these stuff," Katniss said with the intention of throwing the bottle into the fire.

"Do you even know what happens when you throw alcohol into the fire? It explodes, sweetheart. Now, put it down and come here."

She listened this time, not trying to test his theory.

Katniss walked over to Haymitch and sat on his laps, putting her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into his neck, her lips moving against his skin like she was kissing him. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I just… ran. I should've stayed in the room with you when we heard…"

"It's ok, you did the right thing," he said, suddenly his voice growing hoarse like it finally could no longer hide the emotions inside. He stroked her back slowly. "If you'd stayed, your family would've found out about us."

"Prim already knows," Katniss noticed.

"But your mother doesn't. And don't you forget about Peeta."

"Why everything is so complicated? I thought-I thought that we could be together… even if it was only when we were back home… but we would be together… and now-now…"

"Now we'll probably die," Haymitch finished after her.

She pulled away a little, straddling him and then she found his lips and kissed him. Tears were streaming down her face, wetting his.

"Marry me," Haymitch suddenly said against her lips.

"What?" He surprised her and she pulled away a little to look him in the eye.

"Why not? We'll be probably dead soon or… one of us will and it may be me. You may be lucky and survive…"

"Haymitch, that is the last thing I want to talk about now. Let's pretend we never heard that announcement."

"Then marry me. Right here, right now."

She was watching him like she was hypnotized.

"Are you serious?" she made sure.

"Yes. I never thought it was possible to love someone that much, but I do see now that it is. I love you more than anything, Katniss Everdeen, and I want you to become my wife."

"I love you, too. The same way," she assured him and kissed him again. "I will marry you," she agreed.

Then she got off of him and disappeared.

"Sweetheart?" he asked into the emptiness, not understanding her actions now.

She was back soon, carrying bread.

Haymitch was really touched.

"You said right here and right now, so here it goes," Katniss told him, smiling. "Let's get married."

They never had in Twelve any official ceremony but baking toasts in the fire. The groom would just wear his best clothes and the bride a white dress. They didn't have the right clothes on right now, but they didn't care. The baking was the important part.

So they knelt in front of the fire and they took oaths.

When they were done, they lost themselves within each other. They lay down on the carpet in front of the fire and made love. Katniss never wanted this day to end, she wished they could just freeze in the moment, so everything could be perfect and they would never have to be separated.

She wished she could feel Haymitch all over her, moving inside her, kissing her, touching her forever. She wished she could feel so much love and safety like in this very moment.

Only wishes usually didn't come true.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 5**

Time was passing by fast. For Katniss it was a little bit too fast. She couldn't help but worry. She didn't want to go to the arena just yet, she needed more time with Haymitch. She also knew there would never be enough time. It wouldn't have been enough even if she'd had been free. In love, there never really was.

Apparently, she did great on training because more than half of the tributes wanted her as an ally.

"But I don't need any! All I need is Haymitch," Katniss protested. She knew she didn't need any help. She would be dead sooner than she expected. Snow would take care of that.

"As a mentor I think you should," Peeta insisted. "Katniss, just trust me and do this for me!" His voice grew urgent.

"Do you know something I don't? Why do you care about allies so much? Last year I was all you needed. You said you didn't like being with the Careers."

"Well, this year's gonna be different. You should really think about allying with someone."

"If I do, will you leave me alone?" Katniss asked, exasperated.

"I think you really should ally with Johanna," Peeta suggested. "She said you can kick some ass."

"I bet she did."

"Will you two stop fighting?" Haymitch asked from his position on the couch. For a man that spent so many years drinking, it was really a miracle that he was still slim and agile, but apparently still not fit enough to survive a whole week of intense training. Now he was resting and before that Katniss had heard a few not very nice epithets coming from his mouth on the subject of exercising.

"You like her because she's the first girl you saw naked, isn't she?" Katniss asked again, this time really insulting Peeta.

"Katniss, I am trying to _help you _here!"

"Then go help someone else because I already told you, I don't need your help!"

"Can you, just for once, trust me and promise me to stay alive as long as you can?" Peeta asked again, trying very hard to be nice to her.

"Is there really something you're not telling us, boy?" Haymitch got interested and even sat up.

Peeta just rolled his eyes or maybe it just looked like that because Katniss got the impression that he was trying to tell them with his eyes that they were being watched. Of course they were, there were cameras everywhere except the bedrooms and bathrooms.

The thought of just giving up in the arena and stand still like an animal for slaughter didn't appeal to Katniss at all, so she as well might say it, "Ok, I can promise I will go down fighting. Now, will you leave me alone?"

Peeta just walked out of the room.

"I still think he's sweet on Johanna," Katniss murmured under her breath.

"Of course he is, boys his age want to screw everything that…" Haymitch was silenced by the murderous look that Katniss shot him. "But, well… Peeta is a special boy and he's in love with you as you with him, so don't you worry. It'll all be alright. Maybe this little spat will bring some flame into your relationship." Haymitch winked at her.

She really wanted to say something to that, but she couldn't know whether someone was listening, someone from the Capitol. She preferred to leave her private conversations with Haymitch for the bedroom as well as other activities.

* * *

><p>The day of the final assessments came and then only the final interviews and a goodbye was separating Katniss and Haymitch from being sent back to the arena.<p>

This time none of them cared about making any impression. All the tributes already knew what every one of them could do, so there was no sense in even deliberately failing to make oneself look harmless.

Katniss and Haymitch were to go as last and they hated it.

All the tributes needed to show up in the same time, but they were being called one by one, so the rest had to wait.

Katniss really wanted to hold Haymitch's hand, but she couldn't. Not under the scrutiny of twenty two victors and the Peacekeepers guiding the door.

"Do you know what you'll do?" Katniss asked him.

"What I do best," he just said ambiguously, but she thought she understood. Before her, he'd been sleeping with a knife under his pillow and that was the only weapon he'd been carrying around with him since he'd won the Games. He would either show his skills with a knife or throw it or… simply do nothing because there was really no point.

"This evaluation is just a stupid waste of time," Katniss heard Johanna Mason complaining. "We're just sitting here, bored out of our fucking minds! They already know what we can do, so they should just give us marks and let us go!... What?!" she provoked a Peacekeeper that looked at her.

Johanna Mason clearly wasn't afraid of Snow, Katniss thought and it interested her why.

Finally, the room emptied and Haymitch was called.

Katniss was the only one left.

* * *

><p>Haymitch walked into the training room. It was so much different than he remembered from his first Games, but still, all the painful memories came back to him that instance.<p>

He'd been just a boy when he'd come to the Capitol for the first time as a tribute. He'd been sure he would die. He'd been so scared that he'd been shaking and he'd gotten a terribly low mark at his first assessment yet somehow it'd helped him. He hadn't been considered a threat, but he hadn't really been one. He'd won thanks to luck.

Now, standing in this room again, being watched by the Gamemakers, he felt controlled again, he felt that familiar intimidation. This time he had even more to lose. Back then he hadn't known real happiness or real life. It'd been all stripped away from him before he'd even realized it. Now, after so many painful years and so much regret that he'd survived, he finally found love. And the Capitol would take that one piece away from him as well as it had everything else.

And Haymitch hated it.

He picked up a few knives and threw them at the dummy in the corner, his rage only making the knives sink deeper into it. When he ran out of them, he noticed something else. An axe. Then a sudden thought appeared in his mind like a spark.

Maybe spark was all he needed. He knew he wouldn't get out of the arena alive, so why not? Why not show the Capitol that it still couldn't control him?

Haymitch grabbed the axe and threw it at the Gamemakes. He knew he wouldn't hurt them, but that was exactly the point. There was a force field out there and the weapon came back just when Haymitch ducked.

After that, he just left the room.

* * *

><p>"What did you do?" Katniss asked as she stood up when Haymitch came back.<p>

"I ducked," he simply answered, walked right past her and disappeared in the corridor.

Katniss didn't need to ask anything else, she understood perfectly. She also saw the haunted look in Haymitch's eyes and she wanted nothing more to just come back to their bedroom and be there for him. She knew that what he'd done brought a lot of painful memories.

"Katniss Everdeen," she was called and she walked into the room.

She saw the dummy Haymitch had thrown knives at immediately.

Then a spark of rebellion lightened up in her, too.

In the spur of the moment she grabbed that dummy, made a knot with a rope, hang it and then she grabbed some red paint.

When she was done, the Gamemakers could see the hanging dummy with a name: Seneca Crane written on it.

Katniss bowed to them, but not with respect. She did it with as much of disrespect and disdain she could muster.

Then she left.

* * *

><p>When she got to the twelfth floor, she went straight to the bedroom.<p>

"Katniss, wait!" Peeta called after her. "Why won't you just stay to see how many points you've got?" He clearly meant Haymitch, too, as he wasn't in the TV room.

"Who cares? They already know what we're capable of and we just did something that will surely merit a 1… or 0," Katniss wondered. "Could they give me a 0?"

Peeta only sighed.

"See you later," Katniss said and disappeared inside the bedroom. "Haymitch?" she asked into the darkness. The curtains were closed, the lights were off and the sun was already setting down outside.

She found him in bed, just lying in there.

She got under the covers and spooned him from behind.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

He turned to face her and his hand stroke her cheek.

"Now I am," he said with a sad smile.

Katniss put a hand to his face, too, and then she got closer and kissed him, trying to pour into that kiss all her love for him.

They clang to each other and just stayed together like that.

"What did you do?" he asked.

"I hang Seneca Crane," she simply answered.

"Impressive, considering he's already dead and buried."

"Very funny. I took the dummy you attacked with knives and hang it."

"That's my girl. The girl on fire," Haymitch whispered into her ear and then bit her earlobe. Then he found her lips again and began kissing her.

"I wish we had more time," Katniss confessed when Haymitch's caresses became more intense and they started getting their clothes off.

"That is my biggest wish, too," he said.

They couldn't think of the next day and then another which would be the day they would be sent to the arena. They needed to live in the now, but they had nothing more than that.

When they were finally both naked, Katniss straddled Haymitch and she took him deep inside her. Their moves were urgent, desperate, they needed to feel each other till they still could.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part 6**

The next day only brought Katniss more misery. She would be sent back to the arena in less than twenty four hours. That was all the time left for her to be with Haymitch. She couldn't be sure of anything after it, both might be the targets of the Capitol. They might both be killed off in the very first minutes of the Games.

Now Katniss was standing in front of the mirror, wearing a puffy wedding dress. Though it seemed to be too heavy because of all those layers, it was beautiful. Not much in her personal taste, she would go for something much simpler, modest, but she had to admit that this dress was a work of art. After all, Cinna designed it.

"Make sure that you start spinning in the end," Cinna told her, "and don't forget to spread your arms as you do so."

Katniss frowned.

"Cinna, what…?"

"Just trust me, ok?"

"What did you do?"

"Snow told me to design a wedding dress, but he has no power over me, Katniss."

"Cinna, I don't want you to be put in any danger! It's enough that I and Haymitch need to go back. _You_ need to be safe!"

"Don't you worry about me. I make my own choices." When he said that, he left.

"Damn it!" Katniss cursed. She didn't like it at all, but in the same time she didn't have a choice. She would have to trust Cinna. She hated being left in the dark.

"A wedding dress? Really?" Katniss heard someone mocking her outfit when she made her way to the back of the stage.

She turned and saw Johanna.

"Snow made me wear it," Katniss simply told Johanna the truth and to her astonishment, Johanna's face changed like she was genuinely feeling sorry for her.

"Make him pay," she told her.

In that very moment Katniss decided that she might like Johanna, after all. Maybe she didn't take to her right away because in some way they were similar. They had something in common and Katniss knew she wasn't likeable either. It was ironic, really.

When Johanna was called to her interview, Katniss needed to shake her head to get rid of those new developed sympathy. Johanna was her enemy. There was no way they could get closer when the next day the Games started. For all Katniss knew, Johanna might be the one to kill her or to kill Haymitch.

Why life had to be so complicated?

* * *

><p>The interview was awkward for Katniss as always, but this time it was even more difficult. She needed to lie and then lie again. She still needed to pretend to be engaged to Peeta when everything inside her was screaming <em>no.<em>

She wished she could let her go and just be herself. She envied Johanna. She still remembered how angry she'd been during her interview and how she'd started screaming at the end, which had resulted in her being taken off the stage. "You told me I was safe! I won, right? And you want to fucking kill me again! Fuck the Games! Fuck the Capitol!"

For a moment there Katniss thought that Johanna would be publicly executed, but no, they cut the audio, replacing the curses with beeping sounds. If she wasn't killed yet, she would suffer in the arena.

"Katniss, you need to win to get back to us, so we could finally throw you a wedding you deserve!" Flickerman's words got to her and she realized with horrification that she barely heard him.

"Oh, you know… I will do everything that I can to survive as any one of us, but I do not get my hopes up. I don't believe I can be that lucky twice in a row."

"You never know, you never know," Flickerman said sadly. "Well, you have a new mentor this year and I think he will be a little biased towards you. Maybe he will save you."

Katniss really wanted to say something back, but she bit her tongue.

"This is an exceptional dress. Will you spin for us tonight?"

"Of course, Caesar!" She was glad that she could finally act. She was a person of action, not words. Words came to her with difficulty, especially when she was told what to say. She once again wished she could let herself act like Johanna, but Katniss was too afraid that her family back in the Twelve would pay for that.

She started spinning and was surprised when the dress was caught on fire. And it wasn't the fire she was used to. It was something different. It looked more real and it actually started burning the dress off, but it didn't hurt her skin.

For a moment she thought maybe Cinna had gone crazy because why else would he want her standing naked on the scene? That wouldn't get her out of the arena alive.

Then she realized she wasn't naked, after all. There was another dress underneath the wedding dress and that one was black. Then Katniss remembered to raise her hands and there they were - wings.

She was the Mockingjay.

And she was sure Cinna was in trouble for that.

* * *

><p>"Before Peeta, you were the only male victor from District Twelve," Flickerman started his interview with Haymitch. "What more, you won the second Quarter Quell. Do you think you might have a chance in this one? It would be extraordinary for one person to win both those special Games."<p>

"I was lucky that first time," Haymitch spoke, "so I'll agree with Katniss, we can't be that lucky twice."

"You're experienced, you have years of watching those Games from inside the Capitol. You must have a chance."

"I was mentoring while my tributes were training, that's your answer," Haymitch said and the audience laughed.

"But you will fight, won't you?"

"I will. I will also do anything in my power to fight for Katniss. She's too young to die out there, Caesar," Haymitch spoke and Katniss closed her eyes, angry at him. She didn't want him to say that or do.

"Be honest with us here, did Peeta Mellark ask you to protect her?"

"No, he didn't have to. I know how much he loves her, so I do not choose to come back home. I want Katniss to come back instead."

"That's very noble of you," Flickerman admitted, being a little sad. "What can you tell us about the Games? You've been mentoring for twenty five years now. Have they changed much? What do you feel you can expect from them this year?"

"Frankly, I do not know. Everything is changed, even the rules that we thought were impossible to be altered. We all know now who has the power, Caesar and that is my answer."

* * *

><p>Snow had the power. It was the truth.<p>

Even the unexpected union of the victors didn't change his mind. Nothing could.

They were all doomed.

The next day morning Katniss and Haymitch were to be sent to the arena, so now, after the show, they could see Peeta, their mentor, for the last time.

The meeting was awkward for everyone, especially after what Haymitch had said during his interview.

"You shouldn't have said that. You know well that I do not want to come back. Even if somehow I will, I will not marry Peeta and they will kill me anyway," Katniss protested.

"Is it so wrong of me to try to save you, Katniss? You're still so young! You could fall in love again and…"

"No!" she denied. "No! So what that I'm young? I feel old and I will not fall in love with anyone else!"

"You're saying that now, but in a few years… you'll see."

"No one in this world can have my heart but you. We're so alike that I will not find another person who understands me this way," she said, her voice faltering.

"Hey!" Peeta suddenly raised his voice and they stopped talking. "You can take this outside if you want. This is the time for us to talk about strategic and there will not be another chance!"

"God, Peeta! Just let it go! There is nothing to talk about!" Katniss raised her voice as well. "We will never reach an understanding because everyone wants something else."

"I still have something to tell you and you will listen," Peeta said in a sharp tone. It surprised both Haymitch and Katniss. "You need to keep it together in the arena! Don't give up so easily, all right? Don't just give away your life! Fight!"

"Well, I won't be sitting there, waiting to be slaughtered and you know it," Haymitch told him.

"Good, it's all I need to know. And here's what you need to know: _Remember who the real enemy is_," after having said that, Peeta just left the room, leaving Katniss and Haymitch staring after him, not understanding a thing.

* * *

><p>"Maybe he thinks that there'll be victors who won't be fighting to win?" Katniss suggested when she was lying in bed with Haymitch. They both couldn't sleep. The perspective of the next morning wouldn't let them.<p>

"I'm sure there will," Haymitch agreed, "but the Careers will fight. They'll kill us all eventually."

"What if they don't?" Katniss suddenly asked. "I mean… what if we kill them first? If they attack us, of course. What if the rest of us will refuse to kill each other?"

"They'll force us."

"No, they'll kill us and that is the best way to go," Katniss said. "They can't have a victor when we refuse to fight."

"Do you have any idea how low the chances are on this?" Haymitch looked Katniss in the eye, his voice urgent. "Sweetheart, once we're there, they'll all change. They won't be holding hands anymore like on that stage tonight. They will try to kill us."

"Then we'll kill them, but I refuse to kill Mags or Beetee or Wiress. I don't believe they want to fight back either. What do you say?"

"I'm with you, sweetheart. If this is the only way we can agree on something, I am with you. All the way."

"Then we'll all die."

"Maybe, but we will also prove something."


	7. Chapter 7

**Part 7**

The last night they had together ended way too fast, leaving them disappointed and scared. They were disappointed with life. What was its real sense if they had to die? It wasn't because they were sick or old. It was because the president said so. It wasn't a life, it was hell on earth. They wished they could've ran somewhere before all of that had happened. When Snow had announced this year's Games, they'd had no chance anymore. If they'd fled, their families would've paid for that. And even if they'd taken all of them, how would they've survived the winter? Katniss just couldn't do something like that. She hated being powerless. She hated that Prim still wasn't safe. So what that she was the favorite girl of Panem right now? In a few years, when she would still be able to be reaped, Snow might force her to the arena to pay for her sister's mistakes.

The only way seemed to be fighting back, but wouldn't that put their loved ones to the grave earlier? Katniss had an impossible choice to make. Even if Prim was to live for a few more years, it was still that few more years that could be happy for her.

"Sweetheart?" Katniss heard Haymitch's voice right next to her ear. She didn't want to let him go. All she wanted was to stay there with him forever, in that bed. "Sweetheart, they're coming for us soon," he said and she finally turned to him, looking him deep in the eye when she cupped his face.

"I love you. Forever."

"Me, too, sweetheart, me, too," he reassured her and closed his eyes, then pressed his lips against hers.

They couldn't break down now. It was too late for crying. They had to get ready to go to the arena.

* * *

><p>Katniss didn't see Peeta anymore. Their final goodbye was the night before. His words were still in her head though. <em>Remember who the real enemy is.<em> Maybe Peeta wanted to give her a message. To let her know what she'd figured out with Haymitch in bed. Maybe Peeta also wanted her to ally with tributes, not to kill them. Maybe it was all a part of some big conspiracy.

They would still be dead. That one was certain. Snow would kill them all one by one, even if he had to create a new breed of mutts to do the job. No one would walk out of the arena alive. With a little bit of luck, they could ignite a rebellion. Maybe people had a chance if all united against the Capitol. Katniss knew it meant blood loss, death and terror, but those would be the adults fighting, not the children. They needed to save those poor kids from the horror of their everyday life. In this new world, nightmares and scary things children supposedly saw in wardrobes or under their beds, were real and they came from the Capitol. Snow made every nightmare came true.

Katniss was dressed in a very light jumpsuit and had her last moment with Cinna.

"Judging by this fabric, I say tropic or dessert," Cinna informed her when pinning the mockingjay pin to her sleeve.

"Not a place for a girl on fire," Katniss noticed, feeling strangely numb now. There was nothing she or anyone else could do, she could just go on living through as many hours as she had left.

"Remember that I'm still betting on you," Cinna assured her and kissed her forehead.

The tube was there, opened, so Katniss walked inside, waiting for it to take her up to the arena.

Only the tube didn't go up. It stayed in place.

Katniss looked at Cinna, not understanding a thing. From what she remembered…

Suddenly, the door to the room burst open and Peacekeepers strode inside. They caught Cinna and started beating him into a pulp.

Katniss could scream and struggle against the glass tube, but there was no way out of it, there was nothing she could do. She could just watch her beloved friend being beaten to death and then dragged out of the room.

It was just another punch straight to her heart, inflicted by Snow. She knew it was because of the wedding dress which turned her into the Mockingjay. Cinna was just another person Katniss put in danger and couldn't safe.

The tube moved and Katniss found herself being taken up. She couldn't think about the arena and the upcoming mortal danger now. All she could think about was Cinna. Her heart was bleeding. And soon it would probably bleed again because Haymitch would be there with her.

_Haymitch_, she realized as she was blinded by the sunlight and squinted her eyes, trying to see something through her tears.

Water, lots of water… a lake? A sea?

It wasn't big enough to be a sea since she could see to the every end of it, but the smell and the climate in here seemed to be tropical. Salt water then, she decided. Not something she could drink.

She tried to find Haymitch, but she couldn't see him. Had they gotten to him before even sending him here? Had they killed him already? But why would they if they could wait a little bit and get him in the arena?

Katniss did everything she could to stop crying, to stop seeing Cinna being beaten to death in front of her eyes, to focus on things that were important right now. She had difficulties doing it and she knew that was exactly what the Capitol wanted. They wanted to weaken her with grief, cause her to lose her judgment, they wanted to eliminate her right now. She wouldn't let them. She was stronger than that and if she'd already transformed into the Mockingjay on the scene and Cinna had paid for it with his life, she wouldn't give up now. She owed it to the people who believed in her and believed in the free world.

The gong sounded and she jumped into the water, swimming straight to the Cornucopia. This time she wouldn't run. This time she would stay and fight. No matter what the cost. Only she would fight if she would be attacked, otherwise she would try to coexist in peace.

She reached the Cornucopia and there was a metal hammer hitting something and blood splashing the stone ground.

Katniss got to her feet immediately and turned around. While she was doing that, she managed to grab the bow she saw.

"Whoa! I just saved your life!" Johanna was standing there, the hammer hit the ground as she raised her hands into the air. "This guy totally wanted to kill you!" She kicked the body of a tribute Katniss recognized from District Two and dropped it into the water. "I'm on your side," Johanna assured Katniss. "We're both hard to like, so what d'you say? Allies?"

Katniss didn't manage to answer. She raised her bow and shot an arrow.

Johanna's face turned white and she was sure that the arrow was aimed at the heart. Then, when nothing happened and no pain came, she turned around to see a woman who just disappeared in the water as well.

"She tried to kill you," Katniss said, having the satisfaction of actually scaring Johanna. She didn't want to kill, but what other choice she had when those victors were attacking them?

"Ok, I deserved that," Johanna laughed.

"Haymitch," Katniss whispered. "Where's Haymitch?! Haymitch!" she yelled, looking around, circling the Cornucopia. A man from One wanted to attack her, but she shot an arrow at him. He managed to duck and disappear in the water, swimming to the shore.

"HERE!" Katniss heard Johanna's scream and she followed the source.

Johanna was just towing Haymitch's limp body to the Cornucopia.

"Oh God!" Katniss froze in place. Haymitch couldn't be gone. Haymitch needed to live. She needed him. She wouldn't go long without him. He…

Johanna put Haymitch on the shore of the Cornucopia and checked his pulse.

"He's not breathing!" she yelled. "I saw a guy from Five strangling him! I killed him and brought Haymitch here as fast as I could, but…"

Katniss was just watching both Johanna and Haymitch with her eyes widely opened and then she felt them watering again. She was crying. Twice in such a short period of time. Both because of a loss.

Now the loss was just too much.

"NO!" Katniss yelped like she was being slaughtered and she got to her knees right by Haymitch's body. "NOO! Haymitch, wake up! Please, wake up! Don't leave me!" She shook him.

Johanna was standing there, looking at Katniss and thinking hard. She clearly didn't see that one coming. Why would Katniss mourn her ex mentor like this? Unless…

"Katniss, can you resuscitate him?!" she suddenly asked.

"Of course…" Katniss exhaled. She remembered her dad teaching her to swim in the lake outside the Twelve. She remembered him teaching her how to resuscitate a person. He'd said she might need it someday.

She murmured a silent thank you to her dad and brought her lips to Haymitch's without hesitation. She tilted his head and closed his nose. Then she pumped the air into his lungs.

"Johanna, his heart… can you massage it?"

Johanna seemed not to know anything about what Katniss was doing, but she tried. How hard could a heart massage actually be?

It'd been too long, Katniss thought when once again she blew into Haymitch's mouth. Too long, he could be dead… he was already…

She stopped. Her whole body shaking. There was no chance anymore. She lost him.

Johanna stopped, too, but only to protect them from who was coming towards them.

"It's all right! We're not here to fight!" Beetee said when coming over with Wiress.

"Don't do this to me!" Katniss cried, desperately giving Haymitch air again. "Don't leave me, damn it!" When she brought her lips to his, she kissed him this time. She needed to do that one more time. Even if he was already gone.

She didn't care about the three figures standing there in a total shock.

In that very moment Haymitch's coughed.

Katniss moved as he cocked his head to the side and coughed out some water.

"Oh my God!" Johanna exclaimed. "She did it! She freaking did it!"

"Haymitch!" Katniss called his name, crying and smiling at the same time. "Thank God! Haymitch!"

He looked at her and she kissed him again, not caring about the audience. Or maybe forgetting about the audience.

"Damn!" Johanna spoke again. "So you landed an older guy! How awesome! I like them that way, too, they're more mature! But no worries, I won't make any passes at yours!"

Katniss and Haymitch stopped kissing. They looked each other in the eye and they were terrified.

Katniss realized what she'd just done. She'd just brought him back to life, but she'd also revealed the truth. All in the very first minutes of the Games.

She knew they were already dead.


	8. Chapter 8

**Part 8**

Katniss knew it was too late to take everything back. Too late to go back to pretending.

She was too scared for Haymitch. She forgot there were cameras everywhere. She forgot about everything. All that mattered was him and she couldn't help it. It was love.

Everyone stood frozen now. Paralyzed.

Katniss and Haymitch were still on the ground, not really knowing what to do from now on.

Finally, it was Johanna who broke the silence again, "All right, I know you're probably angry about me stripping in front of him… Well, I should've probably apologized a lot time ago because I did it in front of both Peeta and Haymitch, but…"

"Johanna! This is not the time!" Katniss yelled at her, finally snapping herself out of it and she got up, also helping Haymitch. Now they were both standing, holding hands. There was no point in pretending anymore. In fact, Katniss was surprised that the game makers didn't take them out already.

"I'm sorry," Johanna just added in much quieter voice.

"What I'd missed?" Finnick appeared right next to her and Katniss immediately prepared her bow.

"Whoa!" Finnick raised his hands. "I'm on your team!"

Katniss lowered her weapon.

"He's with us," Johanna confirmed. "I say we should go to the beach. It's not safe here. We're out in the open and there's still plenty of them to attack us."

Katniss couldn't fully understand the situation. She could accept Johanna wanting to team up with her. Maybe the girl was right, they were both hard to like, so it was a good idea to try liking each other. She could also understand Wiress and Beetee's motives. But Finnick? They suddenly became this team and there were too many of them. They could easily be spotted. Easily killed off.

Wasn't that exactly what she wanted though? Katniss thought. A big enough team. A team that wouldn't turn against one another in the end. Maybe they thought the same what she and Haymitch had before. Maybe the ultimate rebellion could also be the ultimate sacrifice. Maybe they could refuse to fight and even though the Capitol would surely kill them for it, they would still win somehow. Katniss remembered Peeta's words when he'd told her that he didn't want to be a piece in the Games, he didn't want the Capitol to own him.

Katniss was sure of one thing: none of the new teammates wanted to be owned by the Capitol as well.

"So…" Johanna started. "Katniss, care for some explanation?"

"What do you mean?"

"You and your mentor. So hot by the way!"

"My relationship with Peeta was something Snow told us to do in order to distract the Panem from the real problems," Katniss answered.

"I hate Snow!" Johanna voiced her opinion. "Good thing that the Panem knows the truth now. Maybe they'll finally see their precious leader for who he really is!"

"Johanna, you shouldn't…" Katniss started, but her friend just laughed it off and speeded on.

When they got to the beach, Maggs, the older woman Katniss had met in the training, was waiting for them there.

"You left her here without protection?!" Katniss accused Finnick.

"What was I supposed to do? She can't swim. And I needed to get to you all to get you here!" He spread his arms. "Also, for your information, she was the one to send me!"

Katniss was still hostile towards him. Finnick was the very first she thought that could try to kill her or her new friends. And she couldn't let that happen.

"He's with us, ok?" Johanna said, covering Finnick with her own body. "You can trust him."

"I'm not so sure about that," Katniss said.

"Katniss, he's not your enemy! None of us are!" Johanna raised her voice. "And you know damn well who is!"

_Remember who the real enemy is._

Katniss frowned. What did Johanna mean by that? The Capitol? So there was a plan to rebel, after all, but still… not all the tributes were here. There were still plenty of them that wanted them all dead in order to win the Games.

"I suggest we should go into the jungle and try to find some water that we can drink,"  
>Finnick said and took the lead.<p>

"I still don't trust him," Katniss whispered to Haymitch.

"You should be happy we're still alive," Haymitch said as quietly as possible. "I don't understand why we aren't dead yet."

"Well, don't question it now," Katniss spoke.

"I'm just worried there's something bigger for us coming. We won't escape without punishment."

"What was I supposed to do?! Let you die?!" she suddenly raised her voice, led by her emotions.

Haymitch didn't answer. There was really nothing to say. He could've told her yes, but then he thought of the situation being reversed. He would never let Katniss die either. Not if he had even the slightest chance to save her. Not even if he knew they would soon die anyway.

That was just love and none of them could do anything about it.

* * *

><p>They were exhausted.<p>

They'd had the worst day ever.

Once they got into the jungle, they were attacked by jabberjays crying out in pain in the voices that belonged to their loved ones.

Katniss was paralyzed on hearing Prim's scream, then her mother… Finnick heard his fiancée… Haymitch's demons were awakened when he seemed to be hearing all his dead tributes that he'd been mentoring and couldn't safe.

Johanna seemed to be the only one standing and when Katniss looked up from her cowering position on the ground to ask about that, she answered without any need to actually hear the question, "What? I have no one left I love," she simply answered. "Take that, Snow! What can you do to me?! There's nothing that can hurt me! Nothing! If you kill me, you'll just do me a favor!"

For the first time Katniss felt closer to Johanna. She felt like they bonded in that moment. How sad Johanna's life must be? Even more cruel now and ironic when she'd been reaped for the arena once again.

The horror lasted exactly an hour and then, when they thought they would be safer once they got away from those jabberjays, they encountered a strange fog that could hurt them. They lost Maggs in it and didn't even have time to grieve when they were attacked by wild monkeys.

Finally, they found themselves near the beach again, exhausted from running and grieving.

They were also thirsty. So thirsty.

At that moment Katniss actually asked Peeta for some water and she got a spile. She quickly figured out to stick it into a bark of a tree to get the precious liquid.

They could finally get some rest now. Finnick offered to take the first watch and Katniss protested. She still couldn't trust him.

"It's all right. I'll take that watch with him. You two really need some sleep. This day has been way too emotional for you."

Did Johanna just show her softer side? Katniss thought, but didn't question it. There was something about Johanna that told Katniss she could trust her.

Haymitch put his arms around her and they fell asleep, not caring about what it looked like on the cameras anymore. It was too late for that anyway.


	9. Chapter 9

**Part 9**

At dawn they ate some seafood and decided to go further into the jungle.

"Are you sure that it's such a good idea?" Katniss asked. "The last time we were there nothing good happened."

"The question should be how we're still alive," Haymitch told her, standing right by her side. "Shouldn't they kill us by now?"

Katniss knew Haymitch was right. After what she'd pulled in the first minutes of the Games she should've been dead now. Only she wasn't. Why? The only answer that came to her mind was that they prepared something special for her demise and that wasn't a good thing.

"We need to move," Finnick said. "We're right in the open here and there are still of lot of tributes alive, wanting us dead. Besides, maybe we could hunt some game down in the jungle."

"If by game you mean a raged monkey, maybe," Katniss said and moved on, towards the jungle.

"I like her," Finnick said to Johanna and she just smiled to him.

* * *

><p>Naturally, they chose a part of the jungle they hadn't been to before. In the end, it didn't make any difference.<p>

Suddenly, they heard one thunder after the other.

"Is exactly the same as in the night," Katniss noticed and started to count. "Twelve again. Why so many?"

"The number of the districts?" Johanna shrugged and kept on walking.

"Tick tock!" yelled Wiress.

"What?" Katniss turned to her, thinking hard. She knew the answer should be obvious to her, but she couldn't figure it out yet.

"Tick tock!" Wiress repeated even louder.

"Twelve strikes…" Haymitch said. "Is it possible that the lightening tree tells us that it's noon?"

No one managed to answer him because suddenly a heavy rain poured down from the skies.

All of them looked up, opening their mouth, feeling lucky that they have a chance to drink water without drilling a hole in a tree bark.

But what came down on them wasn't water, it was something much more thick and sticky and the smell…

Katniss choked on it. She choked on blood, she realized in horrification.

"R…un! Beach!" she managed to scream, covering her mouth with her arm and speeding towards it. She could only hope that everyone would go out of there alive, especially Haymitch. She couldn't stay and make sure of it unless she wanted to be dead.

Maybe she'd decided to give up at some point in the arena before, but now when she actually saw how great a team they were making, she decided to go on and fight just to see what would happen next. She had nothing to lose anyway.

Once she finally ran out of the bloody rain's range, she dashed into the water, opening her mouth widely and cleaning them. She could also finally breath with clean air.

"Haymitch! Johanna!" she screamed once the horror and disgust was over. She was clean. She could no longer feel any blood in her mouth or on her face.

"Here!" she heard Johanna's voice from her right and then, to her relief, Haymitch's.

"OK! I am not going back in there!" Johanna screamed in disgust once they all came back to the shore. "I'd rather eat this disgusting seafood than blood! We're staying on the beach!" she decided and sat down as she wanted to prove that she wouldn't move from now on.

"No, we're not," Beetee disagreed, earning everyone's attention. He wasn't known for disagreeing with them and so far he'd been rather quiet.

"Wait… wait…" Katniss raised her hand, listening carefully.

It was Wiress. She was sitting on the shore, saying the very same words all over again. "Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock…"

"The arena is a clock!" Katniss and Haymitch exclaimed in the same time.

"Now, that's a real couple," Johanna commented. "But wait… how is this a clock?" She actually stood up, looking around. "Wait… we started on the pointers! And the Cornucopia is the middle!"

"Yes, and the lightning strikes that tree at exactly midnight and noon!" Katniss added.

"The parts of the jungle…" Finnick started, "the fog, the monkeys, the blood rain… it's like a clockwork! And the jabberjays! Remember? They wouldn't let us out of that part of the jungle until an hour passed!"

"One hour for every danger in the jungle," Beetee agreed. "We go out of one part and in another a new danger arrives."

"We can built a strategy," Johanna suggested. "We make a trap for the other group. We can beat them."

"And then what?" Haymitch asked. "Besides, don't you think they figured it out by now? Why aren't they here?"

"Because we're here," Katniss answered. "So they can't come."

"Yeah, but we were here all night. How many cannonballs have you heard? I counted four, including the big wave coming from this way," He pointed his hand towards the tree. "That means the ones that stayed alive figured it out and they're constantly on the move."

"They're probably exhausted by now," Finnick assumed.

"That is why this is the best moment to strike them," Beetee said and showed them the wire he'd taken from the Cornucopia. "You see this? We connect this to the water and the tree. When there's midnight, the lightning will strike and everyone on the beach will get electrocuted because water conducts electric current. We'll hide in the jungle and we'll be safe."

"That's… a brilliant idea?" Johanna rather asked than stated. "I don't know anything about electricity, but I trust you, Beetee."

"Good, then we should get going. We have a long way ahead of us and we need to avoid all the wrong hours."

Katniss was quiet for now, thinking hard again. There was something in Beetee's eyes, something mysterious. She didn't want to ask about that because she knew they were all being watched twenty four seven, but still… She had that feeling in the pit of her stomach that Beetee didn't tell them the whole truth. Electrocuting everyone on the beach was a good plan, but it was so much work and they couldn't have the guarantee that they would make it. There was something else. Beetee wanted to get to that tree for something, she just had to figure out what that was.

Her eyes met Haymitch's and she realized he was thinking the very same thing. They just needed to trust Beetee for now.

* * *

><p>They finally reached the tree, but unfortunately they lost Wiress on the way. They couldn't see the knife, thrown by some other tribute, coming. The worst part was that the knife was meant for Katniss. Wiress pushed Katniss aside, attracting everyone's attention. Only everyone was making sure Katniss was all right, thinking that Wiress had gone crazy and attacked her. It wouldn't be surprising, considering that the woman was still chanting tick tock.<p>

When Haymitch made sure Katniss was all right, they looked up and saw Wiress dead. Whoever threw that knife was long gone.

Once Beetee got to his tree and started planning how to coil the wire around it, Katniss took Haymitch aside.

"Haymitch, why did she save me?" she asked, her voice shaky.

"Sweetheart, don't blame yourself. It was her choice. You couldn't have known."

"Still… I liked her. It was thanks to her that we figured out the clock thing and now… she's just… gone…" Katniss's body shook and Haymitch took her into his arms.

"It's all right, sweetheart. It's going to be all right."

"No, it won't," he heard her voice in his ear. "Nothing ever will. Don't you see that?" She pulled away to look into his eyes. "This is it. This is the end. We'll all die."

"You don't know that."

"They targeted me, Haymitch. One of them will eventually succeed and there's still a lot of them alive out there."

"If you try, you can still win this thing," Haymitch suddenly said, pointing their friends in the distance.

"No," Katniss denied. She knew how much it cost him to say those words. He was friends with most of those people and he knew them better than Katniss did. He'd been mentoring along with them, he'd been watching them win once. But he chose to save her, the love of his life. "I can't. I wouldn't be able to." She thought of Johanna and Beetee and how she would have to kill them. She couldn't do it. She couldn't even kill Finnick. He'd done nothing to make her think that he was the enemy, quite the contrary. She also started believing that none of them wanted to kill their new friends. They were in this together. They created an unbreakable alliance. It was their private rebellion and Katniss wouldn't betray them. She was the witness of something historical, something beautiful. Never ever before in any Games something like this had happened.

"I will not betray them," Katniss said, looking into Haymitch's eyes. "And you will not betray them for me either. We are in this together and we'll die together. I won't leave them anyone, especially you, Haymitch."

She could see the emotions passing through his face, but he was fighting hard not to break.

"I love you so much, Katniss Everdeen," he told her and then brought her face to his and kissed her lovingly, deeply. He could feel her tears running down his own face.

"Sorry, lovebirds, but the show is about to start," they heard Johanna's voice.

Katniss laughed. She really grew to like that strange girl.

Beetee was ready. He was standing next to the tree with an arrow and a wire attached to it.

"Is this… my bow?" Katniss asked, frowning. What was going on? She didn't understand a thing. "I thought we were going to…" Then she finally realized what they really wanted to do and how smart it actually was. They could cripple the Capitol. They could ignite the rebellion. This time the strongest one. This time they could actually win. And they could survive. Maybe they even still had a chance to live.

"Katniss! Come!" Johanna pulled her towards the jungle. Finnick was waiting for them, ready to run.

Katniss looked at Beetee, thinking that he would surely sacrifice himself for them, but what she could do? There was nothing. Unless… could Beetee even shoot arrows?

She didn't get her answer because suddenly, there was a knife sinking deep into Beetee's chest, right where his heart was and he collapsed to the ground.

"NOOO!" Katniss roared, running towards him.

"Katniss, it's too late!" she heard Finnick's scream. He kept his distance.

"Katniss!" Haymitch got to her. "Don't do this!"

Another knife flew in the air but missed, sinking in the bark of the tree.

Katniss saw in the corner of her eye that Johanna got to the guy who liked to throw knifes and she killed him.

It was decided. Katniss held the bow in her hand and aimed at the force field above the tree.

"Katniss! You'll kill yourself!" Haymitch screamed and wanted to get to her.

"Run!" she roared towards him. "Haymitch, RUN!"

The lightning struck. Katniss shot her arrow and…

There was a huge explosion and she felt herself being thrown into the air and then she must've blacked out.

* * *

><p>Pain.<p>

Stinging pain woke Katniss up and she blinked a few times.

Her back was sore. She couldn't feel her legs, but the source of the biggest pain was in her left arm now.

"There, I've got it!" she heard Johanna's panicked voice. "Katniss, hold on! You'll be fine! We're saved!"

After having heard that, Katniss passed out again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Part 10**

_Remember who the real enemy is_

Katniss heard over and over in her head like a mantra and then she finally opened her eyes.

Her whole body ached and she felt some tingling in her left hand. She remembered the pain she'd experienced and the blood flowing… Had Johanna really cut her? Why?

Katniss sat up and immediately put her hands to her head as she felt dizzy.

"Finally," she heard Johanna's voice coming from her right, so she overcome the nausea and looked that way.

They were both on cots and the room looked like it was a hospital.

"What-what happened?" Katniss asked. "Haymitch! Where's Haymitch?!" she screamed.

"Calm down! Katniss, please. They're gonna sedate you if you start panicking," Johanna jumped off her cot and got to her, placing her hand on Katniss's arm. "Please, just calm down. Breath."

Katniss listened to her and closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths.

"Where's Haymitch?" she asked again, this time in a calmer voice. She looked around, but she only saw another unconscious tribute. If she remembered correctly, her name was Enobaria.

"Ok, don't freak out because… The Capitol has him," Johanna answered.

"WHAT?!" Katniss screamed and jumped off her cot to the floor, staggering a little. "Why?! Where are we?!"

"Whoa, Katniss, I'm serious, you have to calm down! You've been through trauma! You almost died!"

"I don't care! Where are we?!"

Johanna held Katniss and answered, "In the hovercraft. We're going to District 13."

"What?" Katniss was really getting sick of repeating this word over and over again.

"District 13 exists and Heavensbee, you know, the new Game maker, he got us all out. Well, at least those who wanted to cooperate. I'm sorry we didn't get to Haymitch. The explosion threw you away from each other. We only managed to save you, Finnick and this crazy one," Johanna nodded in Enobaria's direction. "Don't know why… anyway, I cut your tracker out. Sorry about that, but it had to be done."

"So… wait a sec… the Games… they're…"

"They're over. You sparkled the rebellion and then on the arena you only added fuel to the fire, girl! The Hunger Games are finished, at least for the time being. People are fighting everywhere!"

"Is Haymitch going to be ok?" Katniss asked, close to tears. It was all too much for her. All way too much. "What about my family? Prim? My mom? Gale?"

"They're safe in 13. Don't worry. Come… there's someone who wants to talk to you and I'm sure he'll explain it all way better than I can."

Johanna began leading Katniss out of the room and through a long corridor to the Command Centre at the end.

Katniss couldn't stop thinking about Haymitch. Would she ever see him again? He couldn't just be… no, he was alive. He had to be!

She remembered what he'd once told her - _Do you even know what happens when you throw alcohol into the fire? It explodes, sweetheart._

It was what they'd just done. The arena. The rebellion. Their alliance. They'd sparkled something so much bigger that they could even imagine…

"Here," Johanna opened the door for Katniss.

Once the girl on fire walked inside, she spotted Plutarch Heavensbee, Finnick and… Peeta.

"You!" she screamed and threw herself at him with a clear intention of hurting him. "You let them take him!"

"Katniss, calm down!" Finnick stopped her before she got to Peeta and now kept her in the vice of his arms. "If you can't act civil, we will have to sedate you."

Katniss stopped struggling and let him lead her to a chair.

"Talk. Better do it fast," she said, doing her best not to go crazy again. She was losing her patience. Her heart hurt and it was not a physical pain. It hurt for Haymitch. She was scared to even think what they would do to him in the Capitol. What Snow would do to him once he knew she loved him…

She paled.

She managed to listen carefully to what Plutarch was telling her. She knew now that the 13 really existed and there was an underground movement trying to take Snow down and Plutarch was a member. He'd taken the job of the Gamemaker to get inside, to get the victors out of the arena.

"The really interesting part is that once you revealed your true feelings to your former mentor on that arena, Snow thought he won," Heavensbee kept on talking. "He thought the whole Panem would see you as a liar and would hate you and that would only give him more points. He overestimated the situation, Katniss. Once the truth was revealed, the people of Panem felt betrayed, that is true, but they felt betrayed not by you, but by Snow himself. They realized he forced you to do it all. He made you pretend to love Peeta, to go on with this farce. They hated him even more for that and it only added fire to rebellion."

Katniss could just listen to that and try to believe it.

"Panem realized they weren't only lied to about that. The whole television coming from the Capitol had been lying to them for years. Now when the 13 let them know it still exists underground, they got even more mad."

"Where is Haymitch now? What happened to him?" Katniss just asked again, caring about only this.

"I'm sorry, Katniss, we couldn't get to him on time. You were our priority," Peeta spoke.

"You better stop talking," Katniss threatened him.

"You have nothing to worry about," Plutarch told her. "The whole world roots for you and him to go back together. They finally see that this feeling is real and they still love you, Katniss. Snow wouldn't kill Haymitch. He knows you will come for him."

"And he's damn right!" Katniss yelled, hitting the table with her fist.

"No, you'll stay here. If you go, it's like walking straight into Snow's trap," Peeta started but was pushed by Finnick who stepped into his place.

"Katniss, we will go and bring Haymitch to you, no matter how dangerous it would be," he assured her. "I will personally make this happen because I know how it is to love someone. I have a girl, Annie, but you already know about her, don't you?"

"Is she all right?" Katniss asked.

"Yes, she's waiting for me back in 13, but I will go to bring you Haymitch first. I promise."

"You need to stay, Katniss," Plutarch said. "You're too valuable to us."

"Why? Why me? What can I possibly do in a fight?" Katniss asked. "I'm just good at shooting arrows."

"You're the Mockingjay, Katniss. You are the face of the rebellion and you need to be safe. We will see the war till its end, but you need to help us. You need to be the image. Peeta will do the talking."

"So you just saved me because you need me?" Katniss asked. "How typical of you!"

"Katniss… you know that's not true," Peeta spoke again.

"I hate you, do you understand that?" Katniss suddenly stood up. "I HATE YOU! Don't you ever speak to me again! You knew about it, didn't you? You knew before! You were the one to tell me to know who the real enemy was!"

"I'm sorry, Katniss, but you're not the best actress in this world."

"Well, thank you very much! And as for you…" She turned to Heavensbee. "I will become your Mockingjay, but I want Haymitch in return. Without him, there's no deal!"

"I think we can arrange that," Plutarch agreed.

"And I made a promise, Katniss. I will find him and bring him back to you," Finnick repeated.

"Let's get out of here, girl," Johanna suggested, taking Katniss's arm. "We both need to get away from all this testosterone."

* * *

><p>When Katniss and Johanna were placed in a normal room that was no longer a hospital, Katniss said, "I should thank you. For saving my life back there."<p>

"You know, I wanted to get to him to save him, too. For you. But I didn't make it, Katniss. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about," Katniss assured her. "I just-I just hope he's ok. I'm praying that he comes back to me unscathed."

Finally, it all completely overcame Katniss and she started to cry.

"Hey, he'll be fine. He has you to hold on to," Johanna assured her while sitting by her side on the bed and putting her arm around her. "You know, I can tell when I see real love and maybe this is why I never liked you before the arena. I thought you and Peeta looked fake together and then I got my answer why. I just hate fake. I hate when people are telling us what to do, but above all, I hate Snow, so we need to go on with it to see him being taken down."

"You know what?" Katniss told Johanna honestly. "It's not true you have no one left to love. You still have me. We're friends."

Johanna just smiled to her through her own tears.

"We'll survive this, Katniss."


	11. Chapter 11

**Epilogue**

_Katniss's POV_

I see Prim and she runs straight into my arms.

I don't understand. Why is she here? What is she doing here? Wasn't she supposed to be back at 13?

And then the moment I see _him _comes. He's alive and well, a little beaten up, but all right. He's in one piece which I cannot say about Finnick.

His arms spread widely for me and I'm home.

I'm with the man I love. My heart is completed now that I have Haymitch and Prim here.

He doesn't want to let me go.

I have a feeling that he never will.

The war ended. We won. The rebels won. Snow is dead. The Hunger Games are no more.

Only there are still casualties. Terrible casualties. It makes me feel sorry for what I said to Peeta. Peeta who gave up his life to save my sister.

My sister was never meant to find herself in the open combat. She was kidnapped and brought to the Capitol. She only began her work as a slave in the hospital when Peeta and Finnick found her while looking for Haymitch.

There was a bomb. Snow intended to hurt me by killing my sister, my friends and my lover. He failed, I can say, but not entirely.

Peeta managed to save Prim and he died in that explosion himself. Finnick lost his right arm, but survived. I'm glad he's alive because I would be really sorry if I had to look Annie in the eye and tell her that I was the reason he didn't come back to her.

It's taken a moment and… I realize I'm finally free.

* * *

><p><em>Few years later<em>

It's been so many years, but it's still hard for me to get used to this brave new world. No one oppresses us any longer. We're free. We're free to travel the world. We're free to do whatever we want. We're free to have children without worrying about them being sent to the arena.

We are FREE in every meaning of this word.

And I have all I need right here with me.

We stay in the Victor's Village in Twelve. The five of us.

My mother and Prim are in District Two, working in the hospital. They can do most out there.

Finnick, Annie and their son visit us from time to time.

Johanna, who's living next door, met a guy with whom she fell crazy in love with and now she has so much more people to love. They don't have children yet because Johanna says she's not a mother material, but she does great with mine and Haymitch's son, so I guess it's only a matter of time before Tom will convince her.

Yes, I am a mother myself. It wasn't something I planned. It just… happened. We were so focused on each other with Haymitch that we missed the deadline for my next birth control shot.

I find it a blessing. I know I would never make the decision to have kids myself. I was too scared and too traumatized after the Games. I still had nightmares then and I'm still having them now. I know that the Games will never return, but I keep dreaming of my child being sent to the arena anyway. I'm not the only one. Haymitch has similar dreams. I guess we need to live on and just try to forget about it because our days are filled with love.

This is where my story ends.

Sometimes I remember Peta and Rue and Beetee and Wiress and all the others I lost during the war. I still feel guilty that I hated Peeta so much when I received the greatest gift he could ever give me. He saved my sister's life and I'll never forget that. I can only be sorry and remember him as there's nothing else I can really do.

If I saw him again… or if I simply die one day - probably because of an old age - I will tell him: _I am so very sorry._

**the end**


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